Category Archives: Fire Carl from Chicago

Chicago Seems to be an Irrelevant Franchise

If you live in Chicago you are in the echo chamber about the Bears – Bears news, commentary, predictions, some optimism, and despair.  However – now that I’ve moved out of Chicago, I can see how irrelevant they are on the main stage.  This pains me… and it pains me even more which OTHER franchises seem to stay “top of mind”.

Green_Bay_Sucks

The damn Packers!  Near my place there is a semi-seedy bar covered in flags and what do I spy on top?

I see tourists every day tromping through my neighborhood… often they are wearing gear supporting their pro football or state college team.  I hardly ever see anyone with anything from the Bears (and I’d probably be struck by lightning if I saw anything for the Illini) because the Bears are pretty much unknown here and in most of the country.

It makes sense, because we’ve sucked pretty much the whole time for anyone under, say, 40.  The Bears won in 1985 and that was 30+ years ago so you’d have to be at least old enough to have been part of the media storm to care about them (or be someone who grew up hearing about them all the time).

Not only have we been terrible, pretty much all of our stars on the team are unknown.  It is hilarious that the Bears are reaching way, way back into stars before my time on the new jerseys.  After Walter Payton (note… that was a LONG time ago) there is hardly anyone and even Urlacher is mostly a nobody outside of Chicago.

It is so bad here there isn’t even really a “Bears” bar in Portland… but you can see all sorts of other teams including franchises like the Buffalo Bills and of course the Steelers and Packers.  The Raiders too always band together and that’s a scary bunch.

It doesn’t help that we have had an awful offense this whole time… people do play fantasy football and if we had a lot of stars in that facet of the game we’d probably get more acknowledgment.  And Dan and I have been banging the drum for offense the whole time (and hopeful that Trubisky will bring it).

I have to blame the McCaskey’s for all this.  They’ve had this franchise forever and done nothing with it.  They need to fix it or find someone who will.  And sadly they likely won’t, and will pass this on to various members of their extended clan indefinitely.  And we will remain irrelevant…

 

Fire Everyone Is Here

Hey everybody.  We changed the domain name “firejohnfox.wordpress.com” to “firemattnagy.wordpress.com”.

I think a lot of the folks that used to find us now see a blank page over at “firejohnfox.wordpress.com”.  I will try to fix this through wordpress.

Of course I am telling people how to find us who can’t find us so I am kind of shouting out into the void.  Obviously if this was a commercial site this would be more of a problem…

 

Bears Close Against Possible NFC Leaders Carolina?

Carolina might be one of the better teams in the NFC, with Green Bay losing Rogers and the Cowboys seemingly falling apart.  Thus it is amazing that the Bears are only 3 point underdogs at home against this team.

Here’s a prediction per the Bleacher Report

Look for the Bears to make this a competitive game at home. It should come down to a field goal either way, and that will keep this game within the point spread. Take the points and the Bears.

Let’s think about this a bit.  First of all, the Bears finally gave up on Giraffe Neck, primarily because the mouth breathers (fans) could not stand the idea of giving up on the entire season for a better draft pick and saving the wear and tear on our new shiny QB of the future.  While I don’t set the odds for Vegas, I think the line would be a lot higher if the Bears hadn’t been very close against the Vikings (who amazingly are also one of the better teams in the NFC) and beat Baltimore on the road, which is due to the fact that Trubisky came into the game as the starter and brings the Bears a shot at winning instead of a cardboard cutout (albeit a tall one) of a QB.

If the Bears really are this close to Carolina with all their wide receivers hurt and down many key folks on defense to season ending injuries, what does this say about HOW TERRIBLE THE NFL IS RIGHT NOW?

A bunch of crazy things are happening in the NFL.  Teams that were supposed to be great are terrible, and teams that were supposed to be terrible are great.  What is the cause?  What separates the good teams from the bad teams?

  1. Competent QB play – this implies that your QB isn’t costing you the game and is able to run a decent passing attack in the scope of your offense.  If you have a terrible O line (like the Bears right now) then this must be overcome; if you have no receivers (like the Jets) then that has to overcome, as well
  2. Defense Against the Pass – I don’t care how it happens per se whether it is between rushing the QB to hurry him or having great downfield players in the secondary, if you can put pressure on the opposing passing offense you will do well.  Sure there are some running backs out there but they aren’t really putting teams up or down all that much in the grand scheme of things

The Jets, for instance, have this.  Crazily enough, McClown is playing competently even with all his obstacles and the defense is woke enough to do some damage.  Even the lowly Dolphins with Smokin’ Jay were able to win once he started getting his soon-to-be-backbreaking passes to land.

Do the Bears meet these criteria with Trubisky in the lineup?  Probably.  He isn’t killing them like Giraffe Neck and can make some plays when the o line gives him a couple seconds.  Their defense is actually not too terrible, either.  The difference is probably special teams / trick plays which seem to tilt the Bears one way or another on any given week.

I still laugh HA HA HA when I see people take defensive players or receivers and the like with their top draft picks while there are top (potential) QB’s on the board.  IF YOU HAVE TERRIBLE QB PLAY YOU ARE TERRIBLE, PERIOD.  Look at the Raiders without Carr – they are now “the Bears” as Dan and I typically term a team “without hope of winning a playoff game”.  Cleveland took a defensive stud with their #1 pick and sure he’s made a few plays but their quarterback woes make them completely uncompetitive as a team.

It is sooooo ironic that McClown is out there leading the Jests and smokin Jay can even bring the Dolphins an occasional win.  The level of play in the NFL for QB’s is laughable, and it is even worse when “garbage time” yards are taken out of the equation (I still can’t believe that Glennon threw for 300+ yards in a game).

 

Bears Were The Highest Spender in Free Agency

I saw this graphic from the awesome site “Over the Cap” that highlighted spending on free agency in the offseason.  I was surprised to see that the Bears were the top spender!  It doesn’t seem that we’ve picked up that much talent in the off season, but I guess Glennon cost a lot of money (not a lot for a QB in the grand scheme of things) and then we had just a ton of other pickups, as well.

It doesn’t seem like we really added a lot of game changing players, but since the roster has almost no talent except for offensive linemen, running back and linebackers (like it is 1985 or something) – we had an immense amount of holes to fill in order to improve the team.

I was joking with Dan about our expectations for the Bears and he said that the goal was “to not be a laughingstock” which was hilarious and an apt description of my feelings, as well.  I think maybe it is a candidate for the masthead of this site.

One thing that this points out (again) is that the Bears may be a terrible team that hasn’t won in 30+ years (OUCH) with a front office that is awful at drafting and brings zero innovation, but they are NOT AFRAID TO SPEND MONEY.  We all have heard about how cheap Papa Bear was but we should shed that stereotype and replace it with a new stereotype which is that

The Chicago Bears spend big, have the worst stadium, terrible coaching, no innovation, draft poorly, and are locked in a cycle of failure.  We celebrate wins that are over 30 years old and know in our hearts as fans that we will never be a competitive franchise.  Win or lose, we will booze.

I think that sums it up.  Oddly enough, spending money is about the ONLY thing the Bears are good at.

Some Idiot Thinks the Bears will win 10 Games in 2017

This Bears blog picked up that Sports Illustrated had the Bears picked for 10 wins in 2017, noting that the 2016 team was decimated by injuries.  First of all, as a Bears fan, I want them to go 16-0, but here’s what I actually thought of that prediction…

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND

The Bears have gaping holes across their roster.  While I don’t have a crystal ball, it seems highly likely that they will drop Cutty soon (mid-March when the NFL “season” starts for 2017), and then they will have NO QB.  We won’t count “St. Pick” Barkley or Hoyer who is a career backup who picks up enough stats in garbage time to look competent.  Sure, they could get a QB by trade or the draft, but it seems like we will have one of the weakest starting QB’s going into the season of any team.  See how that went for the Raiders or Texans, two teams 10x better than the Bears who were booted out of the playoffs promptly when they encountered teams with good QB play.

Sure they have some good defensive guys on their roster (usually hurt), but their secondary is a disaster and if they were actually trying to play competitive football this would be a gaping hole.  If you swapped out the Bears secondary for guys on the practice squad of a typical team I don’t think we would see a dramatic difference, and that’s bad.

On offense – with Jeffrey probably gone (or hurt / suspended if he happens to be with the team) – we have terrible receivers and tight ends.  True, we have a decent O line and running back but with no QB, receivers, or tight ends that’s not a formula for winning football.

Oh and let’s not forget that the Bears aren’t exactly a coaching / drafting powerhouse.  Almost all of our top draft picks have been busts and the last thing we innovated was the T Formation.

If anyone is giving you the over / under on a 10 win season for the Bears, damn you’ve got to take the under on that, being a Bears fan notwithstanding.

A Worse Game Day Experience Than Soldier Field

Recently I went to see a Chargers game in San Diego. First off, let me just say that city is beautiful and the weather is awesome and it would be great if I could live in a climate like that year round. But I can’t so let’s start with the hating.

Not only is their stadium a colossal dump, their beer prices are just crazy. These are worse even then Soldier Field.

chargers_beer_prices

Hey but at least they have cheerleaders. One of our favorite threads here is how much we hate the stoooopid drum line at the Bears and how we need to bring back cheerleaders.

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Their “big screen” was hilariously tiny. I think Dan’s TV is bigger than this. And when the field was in shadows you couldn’t even see the screen. This place is a time machine.

chargers_big_screen

The team has alienated their fan base by threatening to move a thousand times and spending zip on the stadium so that it gets so old that they have to have a new one. A couple days after I left San Diego they voted down funds for a new taxpayer-funded stadium so I guess this will just continue until they find a town dumb enough to subsidize some zillionaire owner since San Diego won’t do it. But just my luck – I sit behind literally the last local guy who cares about the Chargers and he is all Bartman-like with headphones on and stands most of the time.

chargers_bartman

One more time – get rid of the drum line and get cheerleaders – nice calendar.

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Bears 2015 Season Ends

The Bears stumbled their way to a 6-10 record this year and Halas Hall has all of the typical pressers lined up today. I have already received a “we love you” email to the season ticket holders from the office. I will be interested to hear what Pace has to say, and to see how George handles things as well. We never hear a lot from George (and never from ma) so I am always intrigued to try to read into his words, tones and inflections.

I honestly think that everyone will put on a happy face. Sure, we were 6-10 but the end of this season isn’t like last year where the wheels were completely off the cart. We were at least competitive in most games. I understand that this isn’t good enough and I am sure everyone at Halas Hall understands this as well.

The Bears new office staff and coaches have instilled a new attitude and I for one am happy about it. Where in the past idiots like Jay (I refuse to call him Jeremiah) Ratliff could go off on staff and get away with it, now if you try to pull that sh1t, you hit the bricks – nice and simple.

I also feel that we have some talent to work with. That, along with being in fine shape as regards the cap should lead to one or two splash signings in the off season. I really wanted Muhammad Wilkerson from the Jets for our 3-4, but he broke his leg yesterday.

I will on occasion be putting up updates when news comes out as to staff and/or personnel changes. I will likely consolidate the small news, and put up a separate post when something big comes out such as when Gase gets hired away.

One last piece of business – time to check our predictions for this year:

Dan from Madison 7-9
GFV – 8-8
Carl from Chicago – 6-10 (nice!)
Fro Dog – 6-10 (nice!)
Nesby – 11-5, wild card (lol)

We were all pretty close (besides drunken Nesby, of course) but I think that is the first time that anyone nailed the predictions on the head. Congrats to Carl and Fro.